so here i am, halfway in the middle of the 4th year of the artist training grounds on EqD, marking almost exactly 3 and a half years since the first one, at which time I very first started drawing 'seriously', using a tablet, learning to do lineart and color and some nice basic art principles, etc... basically it's when I started drawing, period, scribblings here and there before that notwithstanding. and you know what?
I'm done.
Not with drawing, not at all; in fact, I have been doing so more and more lately and that trend will continue, so much so that I have a strong feeling it's finally going to overtake video games as my main hobby very soon. I finally feel myself getting 'okay' at it and breaking that threshold of utter contempt at myself for even trying it, that I feel holds a lot of new artists down to never or very slowly improving, especially with confidence issues and all that stuff to begin with like me. But it's a gap I'm finally crossing and I'm finally realizing that even if I'm 10-some-odd years older than I "should have been" or that "most decent artists are" before they reach this point or an even higher one, it's a good enough feeling that I have this wild idea that I might just still be able to do the things I want to with art yet.
But the thing is... well, look at this damn dA page. Just look at it. What do you see? "Oh, you drew a couple regular show characters in like 2011!" "You drew bubbles really badly that one time!" "you drew one or two pieces of pokemon fanart!" Yeah, uh-huh...
It's nothing but ponies. And as much as I love and -- yes, ALWAYS WILL love -- MLP:FiM for being such a wonderful source of inspiration, motivation, friendship, happiness, and proof that Western animation is far from dead... I need to move on from drawing it all the time. Or most of the time. Or even half the time.
The fact is, as much as I am a lifetime fan of that wonderful little work of animation and will always consider myself a part of its community and never "leave" it, there's very little growth that can happen as an artist when it's all you draw all the time. At best you can master some levels of drawing horses and some general cartooning, but man, I wanna get good at drawing PEOPLE, and all kinds of other character types, and fanart for all kinds of other things I like, and even my own original content. Heck, I have dozens, if not hundreds of characters I've thought up all throughout my life that I'd love to start drawing now that I finally feel like I might be able to do them some justice with a bit more practice, and out of ALL of them, exactly ONE (1) is equine in nature, a unicorn that often takes a human form anyway. So I mean, as much as I love these pones and always will and SURELY WILL STILL DRAW THEM NOW AND THEN GOING FORWARD, it's time for me to move on to much bigger things, different things, more variety, and actual serious growth in my ability rather than drawing the same damn thing over and over a million times lol. And when I *do* draw ponies from now on, I intend to push for a more unique style for 'em and stop even trying to so closely mimick the show itself. Good grief, I'm completely tired of that. I have so much more in me than... THAT.
Also, as far as the ATG goes --much like the weekly ones I was involved in constantly and now only sporadically, I have to reach a place at which I allow myself to break from it and not feel this weird obsessive urge to participate in every single day of every iteration of it, especially since it's STILL YET MORE PONIES when I'm at a point at which I feel like I'll snap if I draw one more stubby marshmallow hoof or little oversimplified horsie snout within the next month, and this is that place. Furthermore, as awesome as the whole prize-pack giveaway aspect of this year's ATG is, it's also one of the main reasons I've come to make this post. I would be lying if I said I didn't want some of that merchandise I've seen like the Rarity couch swoon figurine or the Derpy 4DE plush, but by and large it's stuff I'd feel kind of like a tool owning so damn much of and most of the days' winnings are PILES AND PILES of so much such swag. I don't really know if I'd have it in me to turn it down if I won it, but my god, I see posts this year by so many like self-admitted 14-year-old girls and such and I feel like I'd be a complete dingus to take away their opportunity to win such prizes. I guess it's like.. when it comes down to it, I love ponies a lot in a lot of ways but I am just not one of those fans who wants a room littered with so much fruity tooty MLP merch like that villain of the week in Powerpuff Girls who was a nerdy dude of roughly my age who collected every piece of pink and frilly memorabilia ever created. Basically the *fear* of winning (almost) any given day's prize is strong enough on its own to make me decide to stop continuing in and of itself.
I think the training grounds are a fantastic, absolutely wonderful set of events for any and all new and upcoming artists who have any interest in MLP, and not only is it a great way to grow but also to get your stuff out there and start getting known and making some friends through art. But it's long since been time for me to move on and do so much more than just sit around drawing candy horses all day. I might pop in and participate in such events now and then on a day-by-day basis and I'll definitely still do things for the ATG Alumni here and there, though I'll continue to focus on non-pony creatures and races from the show whenever possible to grow my skills and try new things. But aaaaaaanywayyy.....
tl;dr: I'm done with the EqD artist training grounds for this run and will likely only participate only sporadically in further such events related to FiM for the forseeable future. I'm also going to be drawing a lot less ponies and a lot more of everything else, though I will never altogether 'drop' ponies or 'leave the community' or anything like that. But expect lots of different things from now on and lots and lots more growth of me as an artist.